“I want to be the best mother and I want to be the best wife … I want to be, I want to go, I want to do, I want to , I want to…. lol ………… I just want to live life to the fullest!”


I didn’t know that I would become crazy as I get older lol. I used to be very serious and very conservative. Sleeveless and shorts made me feel naked already. Words coming out from my mouth are very boring. I was a shy-type and too serious about everything. Even at this very moment, I havent tried a real night life.

Oh enough talking about it. Since this post will be under the “my dream” category, let’s talk about what  really my dreams are.

Younger years: I grew up daydreaming to be a journalist. Since child, I already imagined to be one. In high school, almost everyone  hired me to write love letters lol. I made money from it. I am not that very good but my skills were much much better than now as I was this very serious student who read books every night and memorize the dictionary on weekends. I could easily write introductions but now, it takes hours of rolling in bed before I can make one :p.

I wanted to take up journalism after high school but the first reason was, to escape Mathematics :D. I thought that if I would take up journalism, there would be no more problem in  Math but I was wrong of course. Even if I took up education, I didn’t give up that dream til I got sick  after giving birth at the age of 16. I felt inferior and I felt like there’s no way that I could be a journalist because of that illness.

I never thought of going abroad, never til “my novel” happened. After that “novel adventure”, I started of thinking about writing stories or novels based on real life. oh well, I consider my adventure to China as a novel and still can’t imagine how I survived. I never want to experience it again but I want to write it and make people read it for them to learn something from my experience. And the crazy thing was, I want it to be a movie hahahahha :p oh well, it is free to dream!

I know people would love it as even if it would make their tears fall , I know I can make them laugh in between :p …haiz!! i wish! but as what I have said, my skills arent enough… my vocabulary is very poor, it is only for conversation not for writing. So a new dream was born :p

To meet a man whose passion is writing as well…. travel together and write different things and who knows it will be published. Oh well, he will be my husband :p

After 25: I dream to travel but of course it is hard coz financially, Im not capable. Since I have been single and not in relationship for long time, I just wanted to travel and make enough to support my traveling and daughter’s needs. I want to marry traveling and writing. I felt so good when once I was with backpackers. I had so many ideas that just came naturally. The words and the ideas were deep but it was just written in the air. I realized then that to be a good writer, you should not be just in the cave. That the skills in writing are not only acquired in school but experience is the best. I want to write to inspire some people esp those who are down and lost hope.

Recent: Since I started online selling, I began to dream of having my own fashion boutique but don’t want to manage it as I  would be traveling :p or my main job is to take care of my husband til I’m gone in this world. I want to travel and hope to meet someone special, who knows? I want to make this simple blogsite of mine an official site for selling clothes for ShaineysFashion Foundation and profit goes to my foundation that will help those who are really in need and change lives. I can’t change the world but I dream to help others change their lives not to become rich but to be out of despair and become a happy person.

At present: Just waiting for opportunities 🙂 and help people in my own little way for I am struggling hard as well yet my smiles inspire others 😉

Gooosh i am talking about traveling a lot… my feet are ready to roll but my pocket is still not awake :p

To Be or Not To Be a Writer

My father’s dream

To Be or Not To Be a Writer
I have always wanted to write something that would be published one day. But, I am very lazy to improve my skills. Since I am just doing tutorial and online jobs, I have enough time for my hobbies but sleeping is so tempting.
Online writer is very common nowad ays but the pay is very low. Last week, I saw an ad for online writers and of course the applicant should be at least university level. I called them to inquire about it and if they would accept a high school level. I told them that my father is very good at writing though he only finished high school. I gave them assurance that he has got the skills til I convinced them. The problem was, he is not a computer literate and has got zero knowledge in computer and internet. But, I told the manager that I can help him about it. I also told him that he had written many articles and interesting short stories when he was younger. The management gave me a chance and asked me to submit 3 recent articles so I sent my father a text message right away. I think he was confused what I was talking about and refused but I told him that his articles will be published online lol. He was innocent of what I was talking about but I am a stubborn child that I pout when he says No to my requests.
I was touched then when I read one of the articles he submitted. I realized that I am a ” copy” of him no wonder why we often fight lol. I always think that he is very smart and intelligent but didn’t realize that he sometimes feel inferior though I never saw it on his face.
Knowing how strict and superior  he is, I find his words here humble for admitting that his skills aren’t enough.
*******His dream to be a writer***********
Writing was a passion in my youth days. I have a repertory of interests in sports, adventures, politics, religion and other topics of human interests. This was gained through my travels and personal experiences. I used to spend hours in writing until my fingers felt a painful spasmodic cramps.
But it was only that, I wrote only as a way of expressing myself, nothing else. The pieces I wrote usually ended in the trash without even read by another person. There was no form in it as I have no formal training acquired from school. To enhance my skill, I studyJournalism and Story Writing through a correspondence school. Though it was a distant study, I felt I can acquire the tools for a good writer.
True enough, after 3 years of intermittent studies in Journalism, I tried my hand in writing. I was determined even though I have a tremendous handicap in my typing. My fingers were too shaky because as a martial arts practitioner, my hands were trained to hit heavy punching bags and other hard objects. This became a deficiency. But my determination at that time was so strong notwithstanding this setback. I wrote countless of articles which were submitted to various publications but none were accepted or even considered. Slowly, my enthusiasm for writing began to fade until it died. That was 20 years ago. I have resigned to the fact that my skill was not enough to be an accomplish writer.
Now, I received a joke. My daughter Sheryl phoned me to prepare myresume and to make 3 articles of any topic. And she wanted it fast. I don’t have any idea where she is going to submit it but it was as if she was certain I can do it. I was dumbed for a while because my first reaction was that, there’s no way I can ever do it. If I was not able to do it while I was still young and full of vigorous ideas, the more I can not do by now that I’m already 50 years of age. It is an obvious futile attempt for the second time. My long years of inactivity in this matter has compiled an enormous stack of rusts in my system. I likened myself to an engine that has been laid aside for a long time that the only remaining usage is to bring it to the junkyard for a scrap. My reply to my daughter was that 99.9 percent I can not do it. So I don’t want the pain of frustrations that I suffered 20 years ago to resurrect to a more degree of anguish than before. But she was persistent.
A long hours of soul searching and meditation lead me to a passage of the Holy Scriptures in Mt 13:31-32; the Parable of the MustardSeed. In that, I realized that God needs only .1 percent of my faith to succeed. I also marveled at my daughter’s faith on me and this was the deciding factor for me to shake off the rusts in my imaginations and try writing one more time.
Like an athlete who will always have the difficulty of getting back in shape after a long period of inactivity, I am also struggling in many aspects of what is to be a writer. My passion for writing is now about to resurrect and if given the chance, I vowed to write and write until my fingers and hands have the strength to do it and until my brain will receive the oxygen to fan my imaginations.